Growth Mindset: The Power of “Yet”

After all the posts this week, now we know all about the growth mindset and how it can change the way we perceive ourselves and our struggles. If you haven’t started reading Dianne’s series on Growth Mindset, you can start here.

What does that mean to me, really? How can I change the way I think, my values, my motivations, my beliefs? We change this with the power of “yet“. It may be the most driving force in my life, today.

You’re Eligible, Too

When I was early in recovery, I heard something from the people in my support group who had been clean longer and had more experience. When newcomers would focus on the horrible things they had done in addiction, to themselves or others, they would also talk about the things they hadn’t been reduced to. This meant that of all the bad things they had done, here were other, worse, things they hadn’t done.

People who had been around the support group longer knew the score, however. They said, “Yet. You haven’t done that yet.” In this context, YET means You’re Eligible Too.

That stuck with me. I could have gone down an even darker road, had I chosen to keep using drugs and destroying my life.

But what if the statement, “You’re Eligible Too” also applied to good things? What if I could use this concept to positively impact my life? Could looking at my abilities as a starting point, rather than a fixed set of skills, allow me to become a better person, more capable to tackle the world?

YET and the Power of Yet

So here’s where we really dig into the Power of Yet. This concept was introduced in a TED talk by Carol Dweck, and while it’s not the same as the YET I encountered during recovery, there are some interesting parallels between the two ideas.

Many people look at a beautiful painting and say, “I wish I could paint like that.” They read a fantastic book that changes their lives, and wish they could write like that. The people that stand outside looking and wishing instead of taking action are indicative of people with a fixed mindset.

But we’re talking about the growth mindset. Think about it carefully: with the power of a little word like yet, anything is possible. What separates talent from mastery is time. Time spent practicing your art, whatever that may be.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I read voraciously as a child, and even read the cereal boxes while I ate my morning cereal. I looked up to different writers, and read everything I could get my hands on. But when I wrote, I wasn’t getting the enthusiasm that I expected from my readers. It was only through tons of practice that I was able to get to the level that I write at now. I still need a lot of feedback, but all the practice and time is paying off. I’m getting better because I keep trying.

10,000 hours

There is a quote from a song that I keep in my head when I try new things and feel discouraged. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis have a song called 10,000 hours. It’s about all the hard work, the failures, and the success of their music; and the time that it took them to get there. The quote that really gets me is this: “The greats weren’t great because at birth they could paint. The greats were great because they paint a lot.” You’re better at something because you put in the time and practice to get better.

If I’m eligible too, I can become better at anything, if I want to put in the time and effort. Failure is just another obstacle, a learning opportunity; instead of a stopping point.

My Application of YET

Thinking about YET from recovery, and Carol Dweck’s Power or Yet, I was able to refine my ideas down to an easy-to-remember formula for applying YET in my own life.

1. You: You are the starting point of your dreams and aspirations. Don’t let yourself down by focusing on bad self talk, such as: “I can’t do it”, or “I’m not good at that” statements. Statements like “I can”, “I will”, and “I’m getting better at…” get me to where I need to be mentally, in order to succeed. Talk to yourself just like you’d encourage anyone else! You don’t deserve any less.
2. Eligible: What determines who’s eligible to achieve something? What are the requirements to succeeding at something? Did I put the time and effort in? I determine the answers to all those questions. How much I apply myself and prioritize my practice is what defines my abilities. I don’t have much God-given talent, but I have a lot of commitment to achieving my goals.
3. Too: Is it even possible to do this? Are there other people that have done this successfully? If the answer is “yes”, than I can do it, too! While comparing yourself to others isn’t always a good bet, I think that acknowledging those who have gone before me and “following their taillights” lets me see what could be if I commit myself to a course of action. They did, I can.

Whatever it is that you aspire to, you can gain a lot of skill and knowledge by just trying to do the dang thing. You’re eligible, too. You’re worth the time and effort it takes to acquire a new skill-set. And I am, too.

If you’d like more on the Power of Yet, there is a TED talk from Carol Dweck, the mother of growth mindset. Check it out, it may change your outlook if you’re stuck in “I can’t…”

Photo Credit:

Child at Chalkboard – Marco Verch

Diary Writing – Fredrik Rubensson

Spiral Clock – Mon Ceil