“Straighten Their Crown”: Mentoring Grit

So, we’ve been learning a lot about our theme this month, grit. Monday Dianne covered what it means to be supportive and demanding. So now we know how to start the process of growing grit. But what about mentoring people in your life to foster grit? How do you grow grit in your “team”, and by team I mean family, coworkers, and friends? You do this by example and agency. I’m going to be explaining a little about about both of them.

Examples of Mentorship

If you have anyone in your life that you’ve ever emulated in any way, you had a mentor. A mentor is an “experienced and trusted advisor”, as per the dictionary. When I was struggling with addiction in my early twenties, a phrase I heard that described it perfectly was “Everyone is an example.” If you look at the team you are surrounding yourself with, you will see that everyone has something to offer in the way of teaching you something.

Some skills are more valuable than others, but if you see someone that has something you want (job, life skills), it’s a good bet you can get it by benefiting from some mentoring from that person. After all, they have reached the goals you are striving towards. They know how to achieve and can share that with you! “Following in the tail lights” is a great way to achieve your goals.

It is beneficial to recognize, however, that some people are bad examples. I, at times, have been a bad example of how to do something. I have failed and picked myself back up and tried something else to achieve my goals. It’s embarrassing to admit it, but probably a lot more can be learned from witnessing my failures than my successes. You can fail successfully too! The main takeaway is that grit isn’t about not failing. It’s about being unafraid to fail. Because success takes failure.

Agency and Mentorship

Agency is something that is very important in mentorship. It’s the cornerstone of how mentorship works! Agency in this context would be the facilitation of a protege (that’s the person being mentored) to help them get on track. And it works! This study shows that managers that were mentored actually benefited, not just financially (raises, people!) but socially from mentoring programs in their businesses. Hooking up your employees with mentors (who aren’t their direct supervisors) leads to better working conditions and a more clear career path for everyone.

People crave feedback, and not just on a yearly review. Mentors can provide feedback that isn’t just in a yearly or quarterly review, helping to mold and shape the career path of the protege, benefiting both the mentor and the protege. Historically, the best way to learn is to teach, so mentors become better because they taught another the ropes! I have myself learned a lot by teaching someone else something, and the takeaway here is we are all better when our attitudes are teachable.

Straightening Their Crown

So, how do we apply mentorship in our lives? Here are some easy steps you can take to apply mentoring grit in people around you.

• Speak the Same Language – When you’re teaching, you need to be able to reach them where they live. Use vernacular that the protege is familiar with. If you’re introducing something new, explain the whys and hows of the situation. The number one rule to mentoring is understanding where each of the people is coming from, so match up mentors with proteges that have similar interests and goals.
• Be the Change You Want to See – You have to put your money where your mouth is when you’re mentoring! Model the behavior that you wish to impart to your protege. In this case, it’s definitely “monkey see, monkey do.” And, if you exhibit some traits you don’t want to pass down, now is the time to work on them and be honest with your protege that you have failings, too. They can learn from your mistakes, too!
• Have Role Models of Your Own – Everyone aspires to be great, and the best teachers have teachers, too. Encourage yourself to reach out to a person that you’d like to be mentored by. Share those people’s examples with your protege. I find the most successful people don’t just have a mentor, but a family of mentorship behind them.
• Little Victories Mean Progress – It’s not just about the destination, it’s about the journey! Have celebrations for the little victories and progress you and your protege make along the way. By encouraging any progress, we are acknowledging the work being put forth, and fostering the grit it takes to make more progress!

Getting Busy!

I hope this helps you in mentoring grit in the people around you. I know that I’ve benefited from mentorship in many forms, both as being the teacher and as the student. I’ve had my “crown” straightened a time or two, and been a better person for it.

What are some mentoring experiences in growing grit have you had? How has being a teacher or a student benefited your personal growth? Share your experience, strength and hope with me in the comment section below. Until next time!

Photo Credits :

Mentoring – Damien Pollet

Crown – srkL