Keeping an Open Mind

As I mentioned in the first post in our newest theme, critical thinking is really a super set of other skills, such as objectivity, creativity, and keeping an open mind. In that vein, today’s post is about keeping an open mind. This also happens to be something I struggle with regularly. So this post is really for the both of us! Let’s get to it!

What is Being Open-Minded?

First let’s take a look at what an open mind really is. The dictionary definition is ” a willingness to listen to or accept different ideas or opinions”. Listening to and accepting different ideas and opinions also carries with it the idea that you are not all-knowing. It can mean that you may be wrong. Or that someone else’s ideas may be more applicable to a given circumstance than your own.

When I think about being open minded, I think about several different aspects. One aspect is being mentally available to ideas that may be new to you or disagree with your own ideas and opinions. Another aspect is being open to the idea that your idea may not be the best idea, or that you may be wrong. A third aspect is understanding that not everyone shares your opinions. Sometimes even those closest to you may have a difference of opinion, which can result in conflict if you’re not able to keep an open mind about what is important to them.

Why is it Important?

There are a lot of reasons why keeping an open mind is important. It helps with building relationships. When people believe that you value their ideas and opinions, especially if they are different than your own, they in turn feel valued. Keeping an open mind also opens you to new experiences. If you don’t consider other points of view, or try things even if you think you won’t like them, you may miss out on experiences. These experiences could enrich your life and grow your imagination.

On the less comfortable spectrum, keeping an open mind helps to give us practice at being challenged. Having our opinions be challenged keeps our minds flexible. It can also help validate our thoughts and ideas. When an idea is challenged, and still survives, that means it’s been tested and validated by others. This means it is more viable. We have to remember that it is true that no one person has all the answers. The most successful solutions, projects, or outcomes are those where multiple viewpoints and ideas from different people were incorporated.

Why is it so Hard?

Keeping an open mind can be difficult for all the reasons that make it important. Admitting you’re wrong and are not all-knowing can make you vulnerable, which is hard. We all know that admitting failure is tough, and being wrong can feel like a failure. Feeling like our opinions aren’t shared by others can make us feel isolated and alone, too.

Where I struggle the most with being open-minded is when I am super passionate about something, or something means a lot to me, personally. In those cases, a difference of opinion, or the idea that I might be wrong, can feel like a personal attack. Like as if my opinions and feelings are somehow invalidated because someone else carries a different opinion than I do. That’s not true, of course, but it can feel that way. And when I feel that way, I can almost feel my mind closing up like a trap. Or a clam.

When this happens, people can feel it. They can tell I’m antagonized, and the conversation can then go one of two ways – they either react by also clamming up and not sharing any more ideas and thoughts, or they can take a more aggressive approach and the conversation escalates from there. Neither of those outcomes is very collaborative, and certainly doesn’t do much to maintain relationships with others.

Being wrong publicly is also much harder than being wrong in private. I am sure we’ve all seen this in ourselves and others – when others see you being wrong, it can result in physical responses as well as emotional ones. For all these reasons, keeping an open mind can be difficult.

So What Do You Do?

Getting to the good stuff – how do you actually develop a more open-minded headspace? For me, it’s unfortunately not as easy as just telling myself to be open-minded. I need some concrete tactics and strategies that I can apply when I feel myself on the edge of shutting down, or I feel those emotional responses starting when my views or opinions are challenged. Here are some things that hopefully will help you too.

Use a Blank Page

Some of the best feedback I ever had was, “Dianne needs to come to meetings and discussions with a blank page.” What this meant was, not going into conversations with predefined judgments that I feel compelled to defend. I needed to start with a blank page, and let the ideas and conversations flow where they need to go – regardless of whether they aligned with my own hidden agenda. I put a sticky note on my monitor with “blank page” on it, to help remind me to do this.

Watch Out For and Reframe Negative Thoughts

I found this in one of the websites linked below (4 Ways To Train Your Brain) and this rang a bell for me. It means catch yourself when you’re thinking or saying something negative – like “This will never work!” – and reframe those thoughts. Reframing means to take the thought and sort of “reply” to it, mentally, to show how that thought may not be true.

For example, when someone comes up with an idea that is different than my own, my first response may very well be to think of all the ways this upstart idea won’t work. What I’m doing here, though, is protecting myself and my opinions, which is not helpful. When this happens, I need to actively refute my mental statement – for example, find reasons why it could work. It doesn’t mean I will end up accepting every idea that comes across. However, at least I will have considered it objectively.

Get Comfortable Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

This works! It works because the larger your comfort zone is, the more receptive you are to new ideas. Many times, we avoid new ideas because they take us out of our comfort zone. However, if that journey is something we’re used to, it can feel a lot easier to take that step and be open to ideas that aren’t our own.

If you think about your comfort zone as the bullseye of a target, the more you step out of it, the bigger it will get. Things that used to be uncomfortable will now be comfortable. Your horizons have expanded. Your mind is more open, all because you worked to expand your comfort zone.

Ask Questions

There is a difference between being open-minded and being gullible. You don’t want to believe or adopt every new opinion that comes along, but you don’t want to defend every thought you have regardless of evidence, either. It’s a good bet that your mind is closing when you feel yourself making quick judgments or getting defensive. When you feel this happen, see if you can ask questions instead of forming judgments. Instead of defending your idea, ask questions about the new idea. It will help you learn more about what’s being proposed, and help you think more objectively about it.

A Thought of Caution

Someone trying to keep an open mind and taking it to the extreme might be tempted to think that it’s important to be open and to adopt other ideas just because they exist, regardless of evidence. This is partly why asking questions and gathering data as discussed above is so important. Even with an open mind, it’s still okay to form an opinion and make a judgement at some point. There is likely a best solution, or best opinion, that fits you, your values, the project, or the situation. It may or may not be your own originally, but that doesn’t mean that settling on one or the other means you’ve got a closed mind. Hopefully, it means that you were open-minded enough to evaluate all the options, look at them objectively, and make a decision, without letting your personal biases get in the way.

Sometimes, being open minded is just accepting the idea that conflicting ideas, thoughts, and opinions exist, and that it’s not your job to change everyone over to your point of view. Sometimes you just need to accept that someone else believes differently than you, and not feel like you need to change their mind to align with yours.

We also have to be careful that we’re don’t lose our sense of self by being too open-minded. If we swing in the wind with every new idea and opinion that comes along, how do we ever know what’s truly important to us? Or even what our own values and opinions are? In my opinion (carefully considered, of course), we should be open minded enough to make fact-based decisions and form evidence-based opinions. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have opinions, or that our opinions are always wrong.

Wrap Up

So, basically, be open to new ideas but don’t adopt those ideas without evidence. This is where thinking critically can help you make decisions and form opinions. Being open-minded is different than being gullible and believing everything at face value. Being open minded is accepting that others have different opinions than you. It’s also seeking data to support new ideas and opinions. And finally, it’s being open to revising your own opinions when appropriate and when the evidence supports it.

I hope you found this helpful! Some additional reading is below, from both sides of the spectrum.

• 4 Ways To Train Your Brain to be More Open-Minded | Fast Company
• Why You Shouldn’t “Keep an Open Mind” | Capitalism Magazine
• The Problem With Being Too Open Minded | Stephen Novella, MD
• How to Keep an Open Mind | Forbes