Developing Emotional Resilience and Coping Mechanisms

Over the last couple weeks we’ve been talking about resilience. Today I wanted to talk about emotional resilience in particular. When I think about emotional resilience, I think about people that are able to handle and adapt to the daily stresses and great tragedies of life, usually better than I feel like I’m able to. It’s when you can adapt and flex to a stressful situation or handle something traumatic and then recover. So then I wonder, what makes some people more able to do this, or to do this better, than others? I don’t believe it’s a “you have it or you don’t” type of quality. So I investigated, and found that in many cases, those that have a higher emotional resilience also have great coping mechanisms. They are able to “bounce back” from stressful and tragic situations more successfully than those that don’t know how to cope.

The Struggle Is Real

There are days when I try really, really, hard but still fly off the handle when my day becomes consumed with stress. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, either! My newest goal is to become someone that deals with stress effectively. So I wanted to see if I could find some ideas for coping mechanisms that seem practical enough for me to apply them and turn them into habits.

It seems like I’m able to deal with stress in a couple different ways. Some days I’m able to handle anything that comes in a serene, calm way. On other days, something as small as spilling my coffee can send me into a stressy panic. This up and down cycle makes me feel unstable and insecure, because I have a hard time predicting how I’ll react in a given situation. I’m sure it makes those around me struggle as well.

Some Real Ideas

I’m not really the type of person that gets into things that feel extra metaphysical or spiritual. You are most likely not going to find me sitting in a lotus position on the ground and “ommmm”ing to calm down. First, lotus position is impossible, but that’s besides the point. What I want are some uncomplicated, straightforward, practical habits I can build and use when situations get stressful. Here’s what I found!

Pay Attention to Sleep

I know that when I’m feeling tired or didn’t get enough sleep, my emotions seem to get out of control more easily than when I feel rested. Similarly, my ability to stay calm seems connected to sleep as well. Sometimes, I’m stressed so I can’t sleep, which leads me to being more susceptible to stress the next day.

The American Institute of Stress has an article called “Stress and Sleep: How to Master Stress and Enjoy Restful Sleep Instantly” which had some interesting ideas. As you know, I’m always wary of anything that promises “instant” results. However, this article did have some interesting points. Some of the things this article recommends are getting enough exercise, exposure to daylight, aromatherapy, and journaling, among others, as ways to reduce stress and get better sleep.

Take Breaks

More than just taking a few minutes throughout your day to rest and get away from your stressful situation, it’s important to take weekends and holidays as complete breaks from work and the day-to-day grind, especially if work is a major source of stress. Whatever your days off are, make sure that you’re keeping them free of whatever your “workday” habits look like. Don’t check emails, don’t try to finish that presentation, keep that time sacred to do the things YOU want to do. Come back after your weekend with a fresh perspective and willingness to get back to it.

Cultivate Optimism

Many times, a stressful event impacts us negatively because of the positive or negative view we have of that thing. In other words, it’s the spin we put on the event and not the event itself that causes us stress. If we can cultivate a more positive and hopeful outlook, events won’t look as difficult. While it’s true that people may have a natural inclination towards optimism or pessimism, it is possible to change that outlook and worldview if you put your mind and effort into it.

Keep People Close

The strength of our connections to those around us help keep us balanced and centered when things go awry. Feeling connected to our friends and family can help create more feelings of positivity, which improves your general outlook as well. Knowing that you’re not alone in the world helps put things into perspective. Most likely, what you’re going through, others have gone through as well. Not only gone through, but come out the other side in one piece.

Wrap Up

There are a ton of resources out there dealing with emotional resilience. As with anything else we read on the internet, it’s important to put on our critical thinking hats and make sure that what we’re reading makes sense, and that we can apply it in a way that will be helpful. Here are some articles I found interesting and helpful, that taught me a lot about emotional resilience. I hope you find them useful as well!

• What Is Emotional Resilience and How To Build It? | Positive Psychology
• Why Emotional Resilience Is a Trait You Can Develop | VeryWellMind
• Stress and Sleep – How To Master Stress And Enjoy Restful Sleep Instantly | American Institute of Stress
• The Road to Resilience | American Psychological Association