Keep Calm and Lead On

In a crisis, or even just a tense situation, how you react will influence how those around you react as well. When you’re also a leader, I believe that many times, you have an even bigger impact on the behavior of those around you. This is because in unexpected or stressful situations, people usually look to their leadership for some form of guidance. It’s also in human nature for us to mirror the reactions of those around us. Calm leadership during a crisis is not easy, but it is important.

Keeping Calm (And Carrying On)

In 1939, Britain was preparing for World War II. The public was scared, and probably feeling many of the same emotions that we’re feeling today in the face of this pandemic. In an effort to help keep the populace calm and focused, motivational posters were created with the phrase “Keep Calm and Carry On” that many of us recognize in many different permutations today.

Britain’s approach to preparing the country for war is a great example of community (and in this case, national) leaders setting the example of keeping calm in a crisis, and encouraging their people to do the same.

More recently, the Queen of England gave a rare public address. This happened on the day the Prime Minister was admitted to the hospital for tests after having experienced ten days of symptoms. Public reaction to her speech commented on how calm and collected she was, and how it generated reassurance in her listeners.

Back to The Every Day

In more everyday examples, many of us deal with crises at work or at home that are not at the same level of severity as pandemics or wars. How we respond to these events is just as important to the teams, family members, and friends that look to us for guidance.

When we have a difficult situation, how we react will either reassure or inflame the people around us. For example, if I’m in a meeting with my teammates and I get upset about a situation we’re all experiencing, my teammates might also feel like they should be upset. Even if they didn’t start out feeling that way. On the other hand, if I can acknowledge what is happening and still keep my cool, their reactions may also be mitigated.

In a crisis, I believe people want their leaders to acknowledge what is happening. They want to see their leaders taking it seriously, but also have their reactions to a situation under control. They want their leaders to respond, not react.

Situations, and the responses to those situations, will vary. The leader’s approach to each situation and their responses will generate feelings of reassurance, calm, and focus in the team, or it will generate even more fear, uncertainty, anxiety, or a host of other emotions.

Under- and Over-Reactions

When a leader under-reacts to an emergency or crisis, a few different things can happen. The team may feel like they personally are overreacting, which can cause feelings of self-doubt. The team may get angry that their leader seems not to care. They may also feel abandoned in their time of concern or need because they perceive that their leader isn’t taking the situation seriously.

Conversely, if a leader overreacts, it can generate fear or anger in the people they are leading. This could be anger at the leader, perhaps, or against an outside entity, where none existed before. If someone wasn’t afraid of a situation before, they might be after seeing the leader’s overreaction.

Of course, you are never going to be able to react so precisely that everyone will feel that you didn’t overreact and didn’t under-react. There will always be some who are alarmed that feel like you’re under-reacting, and some that are more relaxed that feel you’re overreacting.

What’s the Right Level of Reaction?

Of course, there’s no guidebook on what to do in every kind of situation that might ever happen. There is no “one-size fits all” approach. In times like these, especially, it’s hard to know what the right reaction is because most of us alive today have never experienced anything this bad before.

This puts leaders in a tough spot because it’s hard to know what’s an overreaction and what’s an under reaction. It’s even harder, because no reaction is going to be the exact right one in the eyes of every person experiencing it. I think, however, the only thing worse than an overreaction or underreaction is no reaction at all.

Calm, But Not Dissociated

Whether an overreaction or underreaction, a critical component is that the leader stays calm. This does not mean that the leader has no reaction at all. Anyone, leader or not, that experiences an almost unnatural state of calm in the face of a disaster, tragedy, or crisis may be experiencing dissociation. Dissociation is where the person has a complete lack of emotional reaction. They might also feel like events are unreal, or feel disoriented.

Dissociation is a reaction to stress or calamity, similar to anxiety or anger, but harder to notice because the symptoms are passive. They may appear as having everything together but inside, they’re having just as much trouble as others whose symptoms are more visible. This can present a real psychological risk to people experiencing it.

So What To Do?

All of this means that as a leader, you need to acknowledge the severity of the situation, and acknowledge the feelings that you’re having and that others may be having. Use your empathy skills to really think about and understand what people are going through so that you can speak to those emotions when addressing the situation. Express your own emotions in a way that introduces solidarity but doesn’t inflame those listening to you.

Another key strategy is to use your emotional intelligence to get a handle on your own emotions. Be selective in who you vent your own emotions to. Your husband or wife may be the right person to see you fall apart, but most likely your team at work is not. This will allow you to present a calm face to the world, even if you are falling apart at home.

As a leader you also need to have a plan. You need to respond to the situation in a way that, whether it’s an overreaction or not, shows that you take the situation seriously and are taking steps to manage or mitigate it. You can’t be afraid to lead, or be afraid to make decisions. No decision, or mixed messages, is worse than a bad decision, in many cases.

Wrap Up

Being a leader in times like these (or any time of crisis) is difficult. Not that you needed me to tell you that! We are struggling to deal with our own anxieties and fears, while at the same time trying to soothe the emotions of others. No matter which way you respond to the situation, some will be unhappy. At least one person will think that you didn’t respond in the right way. The phrase “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” definitely comes to mind.

When I look at examples in the world today, the leaders I admire the most are the ones that have a steady, consistent message, those that are making decisions (even if I disagree with them), and who are taking the situation seriously. I feel reassured when my leaders are calm and when they are taking action.

Being this type of leader is not easy. Sometimes all you can do is what seems right at the time. Just keep in mind what you’d want from a leader in a time like this, and do the best you can. Even if it feels like you’re drowning more often than not, remember that you’ve got this. I believe we will come out on the other side of this, and that you will too!